Fear of Rejection


“How do you deal with the Fear of Rejection?”

It’s got to be the oldest question in sales motivation. I’ve heard it from the day I got into the profession of selling and I still hear it today.

“How do you deal with the Fear of Rejection?”

What’s bothered me for a very long time is that no matter how this question has been answered and addressed, it keeps coming back!

“How do you deal with the Fear of Rejection?”

Professional sales people read books, we attend seminars, we address this topic in sales meetings and with our colleagues. Still, no matter how sensible or workable the answer is, before long we are hearing (or asking) it again.

“How do you deal with the Fear of Rejection?”

In the sales training and coaching sessions I lead, I like to look at issued like this from different perspectives. It seems obvious to me that the old perspective isn’t getting us any closer to a resolution, right?
Not long ago I was preparing a sales training session on this very topic. Logically enough, I began by writing it out.

“How do you deal with the Fear of Rejection?”

Fear of RejectionThat’s when it hit me like a bucket of cold water in the face. If we continually fail to get the right answer, then maybe we’re asking the wrong question. So I sat back for a moment and thought about it, then I thought some more. I thought, “What exactly is the Fear of Rejection?”. Obviously it’s an internal process, not an external force. If it were exteternally generated, we’d all see it the same way and at the same time. We don’t.

This means that we do it to ourselves. Yet the very wording we use in forming the question positions it as being an outside “thing” actively causing us pain and self-doubt. Again, it isn’t.

So if we’re asking the wrong question, what’s the right one? I realized in that moment that “Fear of Rejection” isn’t our problem at all. The problem is something that we are doing to, and inflicting upon ourselves. Once we apply the proper label to it, we can empower ourselves to stop it in its tracks. But if it isn’t “Fear of Rejection”, then what is it?

This force which has the power to paralyze us and to diminish us as Sales Professionals is… wait for it…

“The Anticipation of Rejection”

That’s right, we don’t get stuck or frozen because we fear rejection, we suffer these feelings because we are allowing ourselves to actually anticipate rejection!

Do you understand fully the significance of this one distinction? By anticipating rejection, we are actually creating it when it doesn’t actually exist. By anticipating rejection we are manifesting the possibility of failure before we even begin.

I believe that on some level you already know this to be true. When you feel powerful and confident you are anticipating success. When you present to a prospect while you are in the empowered state, your success ratios are sky-high. In fact, if the prospect doesn’t buy you probably feel surprised, right?

What do you do when this happens? You strategize and come back again and again until you succeed. That’s what we do.
On the other hand, fear caused by the anticipation of rejection leaves you feeling defeated and weak before you even begin. Before you even begin!

Commit today to letting go of the “Anticipation of Rejection”. Commit instead to the “Anticipation of Success”. Will you close 100% of your deals? No you won’t. But instead of feeling rejected, you’ll feel surprised.

I don’t know about you personally, but I’ll choose being surprised over feeling rejected any day!

First Mobile Post


So I’ve been writing and blogging for quite a while now but today I’m trying something new.
I always do my blogging from my PC, but today I got the urge to try posting from my phone while I’m waiting for a business appointment.
Like publishing my book on Amazon a while back, for some reason I just thought that posting from a mobile device would be hard or inconvenient. It’s not.
The truth is that all of us, including me, get stuck in our routines and we avoid trying new things. New things are good!
Is this a post about nothing or is there a message in here? That’s up to you to decide. But I’m happy because I did something new today.
What are you going to do?

The Post Divorce Apartment Book!


“5 Steps To The Ultimate Post Divorce Apartment”, my new book, is now available on Amazon!

After writing articles and blog posts for a few years now, I’ve published my first eBook and this is just the start.

This book started as a blog post quite a while ago and has grown into a much larger concept. You see, when I was going through my divorce I was looking for resources and help which I just couldn’t find. There were scores of websites, support groups and books aimed at helping women through the difficulties of divorce but just about nothing for men!

While I was working my way through the emotional ups and downs I was experiencing, I kept thinking that it would be great to help other guys who are going through what I’m feeling, but how? Then the idea hit me. I need to write about it, and create a website which can grow into a community of men, not looking to commiserate, but to get their positivity back. That’s what I aim to do with my new book too.

The website I created is Victory Divorce, and now that the book is out its time to crank it up! Please visit the site, and if you are one of the countless men who need to move soon, BUY THE BOOK!

The premise is simple. What is one of the biggest things that separates men who suffer after divorce from men who prosper and grow? Their choice of where and how they live! This book is a road map to guide you through this critical set of decisions even though you may not quite be thinking straight (yet).

Personal stories, worksheets and a bit of humor will help you with this journey toward a happier and more prosperous future.

3 Things to Know Before Buying an MFP


Whether you are buying one MFP or an entire fleet of machines, knowing these 3 things will help you to make the best decision for your company.

MFPThe MFP is truly the hub of your document and information work flow. The selection of the right equipment, with the right options will enable employees and co-workers to work more effectively and efficiently while also controlling and reducing costs.

Conversely, the wrong equipment can have hugely negative effects on productivity and become an expensive liability.

This report outlines and defines the three most important considerations for any business to take into account before selecting new MFPs.

Taking these considerations into your decision making process will help you to acquire the best equipment and the most effective workflow solutions.

Consideration One – Future Proofing: What will your business look like in three to five years? No one truly knows the answer to this question other than it will be different. Don’t risk acquiring a new MFP based solely upon yesterday’s or today’s needs. The “Best of Class” MFPs on the market today allow for users to easily print from Mobile Devices and to access Cloud Based Services such as Dropbox or GoogleDrive.

Some manufacturers include these features, some charge extra, while some don’t yet offer these features at all!

Now that these features are available on the best MFPs, selecting a model which provides them is logical and wise. Even if your company doesn’t yet use these services, believe me, you will!

Consideration Two – Reliability and Service Response: There are two main types of MFP dealerships you should be aware of. These are “Fully Authorized Dealers” and “Independents”.

A Fully Authorized Dealership will have the full resources of the manufacturer behind them. They normally offer factory trained Service Technicians to ensure high levels of reliability, up-time and parts availability. With such complex devices as today’s MFPs, this factor is of vital importance.

Conversely, the Independent lacks support from the manufacturer and is limited to selling only “open market” or low-end equipment and a limited array of options. This commonly results in the independent dealer suggesting “What he has” as opposed to the best solution.

Lacking direct manufacturer support, the independent dealer is a risky choice.

Consideration Three – Total Cost of Ownership or “TCO”: There are three components which factor in to the Total Cost of Ownership. These are:

  • Initial (or Monthly) Cost
  • Cost per Page
  • Efficiencies (Gained or Lost)

Initial Cost – The initial cost is usually calculated as the monthly lease payment. The vast majority of MFPs are acquired on a 60 month lease, so that figure is easily known.

Similar to an automobile payment, an MFP has a finite number or stable, predictable payments. Of all the factors which make up TCO, this is the only “Fixed Cost” while all others are “Variable Costs”. Knowing this, we can see just how important it is to quantify the variables as closely as we possibly can.

Cost per Page (CPC) – The Cost per Page is the amount paid to the servicing organization for each page printed. This amount normally includes Toner, Parts and Labor. The standard exclusions are Paper and Staples. This amount is also shown in the purchase agreements, but is variable based upon the actual number of pages printed. As an example, a CPC of .009 at a print volume of 1,000 pages per month would cost $9.00 while a print volume of 10,000 would cost $90.00.

This expense is mainly a function of actual print volume. Controlling access and accountability to printing is your number one way to minimize this component of TCO.

Efficiencies – The last component of TCO is efficiencies. Efficiencies are more difficult to quantify, but they are very real. With labor costs being one of the largest expenses in most organizations, worker efficiency can actually be the single largest pool of savings in our TCO calculations.

This is why you equip your staff with faster computers, mobile devices and automation. A modern MFP with the latest features is the ultimate “Input – Output” device bringing all of these systems together.

So how do we best quantify these savings? This is where a well trained Account Representative from a reputable and fully authorized dealership can be a strong and valuable aid in uncovering and defining efficiencies as well as bottlenecks in your organization.

A representative who takes the time to get to know about you and your business BEFORE suggesting a solution will help you to pave the way to a smart and well thought-out MFP decision.

The best and most professional MFP dealerships subscribe to what is known as the “Solutions Selling Methodology”, offering true business solutions as opposed to just pushing a product. Beware of the “salesman” who walks in with a brochure in hand. The solution he is likely to offer is not yours, but his!

The true solutions based decision is the result of thoughtful questioning, informed suggestions and finally, a mutually beneficial decision.

For more information on MFPs, Copiers and Printers, visit Pacific ConnecTeq on the web.

Making Money Online


It started out as just a blog.

I was looking for a place to express myself and showcase my writing. My blog site(s) have certainly achieved these goals, but have also achieved something more…Making Money Online!

I began looking for ways of attracting more traffic to my sites and found ideas on how to “Monetize” a blog. I was interested. These ideas were linked to a concept called “Passive Income” and those words REALLY interested me.

So where did I start?

One of the first and most consistent bits of information I was reading was that providing original, quality content on a blog site will increase my SEO, or Search Engine Optimization, making my site more readily found by people doing Google searches. So I have added new, original articles on a consistent basis and it’s worked very well. I ranked on the first page of Google for my last name “Scalfaro” within 90 days, and my traffic has been increasing at a very fast pace. But I still wasn’t making money online.

Now that people are visiting my blog and reading my articles how do I generate money? My first attempt at making money online was to add “Affiliate Links” to my articles. Affiliate links are the click-able ads you see on this and other sites. Here’s how it works. When a visitor clicks on one of these ads and buys something from that company, I get a finder’s fee. Since people find my site and read my articles at all hours of the day or night without me asking them to do so, this is called Passive Income. I love it!

By using Google Adwords, the adds displayed within my articles are targeted to be relevant to the content I’ve written. That increases my chances that you, the reader, will be interested in the offer and actually make that click.

Then I took it to the next level. I became an Amazon Affiliate and began to create direct links to specific products on Amazon product pages. Now if I wrote a product review, such as my review of the Pioneer VSX-822-k Audio Receiver, the number of people clicking the ad and actually buying the product went through the roof! I was very happy.

So what could I do with my newly found knowledge to make even more money? I knew I needed to create high quality, relevant content and I also knew that my product review pages did very well. With this knowledge I created a new site called Pioneer Audio Reviews. It’s a product review/fan site for enthusiasts of Pioneer Stereo Equipment. This site is a one stop destination for information, specifications and product reviews on the entire line of Pioneer receivers and once again provides direct links for the reader to go ahead and purchase the model they prefer. Again, I’m making money online in a passive way.

What’s next for me? Books, or more specifically eBooks. I’ll be writing eBooks and selling them via Amazon, iTunes and my own web sites. For an idea of what my first series of books will be about, please visit Divorced Guys Guides. This is a series of short, information packed books designed to help newly divorced men through that transition back to happiness and success after a divorce or major breakup.

So that’s what’s happening in my quest to make money online. If you’d like more information on this subject, please visit Passive Income Guys and ask some questions!


Good People


As I’m getting older I’m realizing the importance of “Living in the Moment”.

I haven’t always felt that it was the best way to live, but I’ve changed.

For years I put things off because “it’s not the right time” or some other nonsense like that. But not any more, and not for a while. I’ve learned that there actually is a right time and it’s right now.

Remember the old saying “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans”. Well it’s true. Time marches on and every moment of your life is a moment which will never happen again, so live in the moment and actually BE THERE!

Now I know some people who don’t agree with me. They would say that you need to always be planning for the future, otherwise nothing will get done. I disagree. They think that if you just live in the moment you’ll wind up doing drugs, partying or wasting your time on pointless activities without moving toward worthwhile goals. Again I disagree.

What I know is that there is no final destination in life, only a series of events. I will never reach a point in my life when I will say “OK, I’m done, I don’t need to do anything else”. Some of these future oriented people actually achieve less that the “in the moment” people I know, and I can tell you what the reason is.

The reason is because they set one large long term goal instead of a series of smaller short term goals. If they reach that big goal they are happy, but only for a moment and at what cost? You see, without the next goal already identified these people become depressed because they no longer have their goal to chase. Think about an Olympic athlete or a retired professional athlete. They worked tirelessly for years to achieve the “Gold Medal” or their place on the team. Sadly we often hear of these people self-destructing after they have gotten exactly what they were chasing. On the other hand, some of these people had a series of goals laid out and the “Gold Medal” was only one of them. I believe these people enjoyed winning their prize much more than the ones who viewed it as the end, because they were able to enjoy the moment, knowing there was more to come. They often move on to a very bright future.

I recently had an experience which made me think about writing on this topic. I’m fortunate to have good friends in my life and I try to be “Present” and in-the-moment when I’m spending time with them. The new me, who lives in the present, sees and feels things that the old me rarely did. I have two very good friends we’ll call Z & B. They invited a few of us to go out on their beautiful boat. It was a fun-filled and uplifting experience for me and I’m thankful for having been invited. There was great conversation and positive energy the entire time. When we were done, I drove away feeling really happy with life and I knew exactly why.

As terrific as it is to do something like boating, and as wonderful as it is to be on the ocean and seeing the other boats and the waves and nature, these weren’t the best part. The best part was spending time with Good People and knowing it “In the Moment”.  Would the “old me” have felt this way? Maybe, but not to the degree I do today. I feel so lucky because I know I have so many more special moments and I’ll spend time with so many more Good People in my life, and I’ll actually know it while it’s happening. What a gift!

So think about who the Good People in your life are. Make a goal of spending more time with them and of being truly “in the moment” when you do. Your memories will be larger and brighter and your “moments” will last forever.

Blackjack Monkey


Blackjack MonkeyI launched a new website recently called Blackjack Monkey!

This site is going to be a lot of fun for anyone who plays Blackjack or goes to Las Vegas.

It doesn’t matter if you are an occasional and casual player or a whale, this site will have something to offer you.

There is a section devoted to learning basic strategy. What is basic strategy? Think of a professional basketball player who practices 200 free-throws every day. Why does he do that? Because you have to master the basics in order to play like a pro. In this section you’ll find resources to help you develop the automatic responses you need in order to avoid playing by emotion. The way to play cards is dictated by statistics, not feelings. Although this section may seem to be narrowly focused upon the basics, you’ll find plenty of advanced strategy and theory here too.

Another section is all about comps, deals and fun. You play, you get rated and you want something for that. We’ll teach you how to maximize your fun and maximize your comp credits. The only thing better than a 5 star vacation is a FREE 5 star vacation. We’ll help you move closer to getting it!

The most important section of the site has to do with our very own, time tested and mathematically sound betting strategies. What most people don’t realize, and what the casinos don’t want you to realize is that how you bet is just as important as how you play your cards, yet very few people have a well thought out Blackjack Betting Strategy. We’ll teach you ours and your game will never be the same.

We also feature affiliate deals on hotels, airfare and more. If you see something you like, just click on the banner knowing that Blackjack Monkey has checked it out before you ever saw it. Our affiliates are top tier travel service providers and we feel comfortable endorsing them.

So go visit Blackjack Monkey now. the site is fun and funny, but at the same time it’s a completely serious resource designed to help you become a better, more proficient Blackjack player.

The Podcast Is Coming!


Yes, it was inevitable. This Monday will mark the first recording session of my new Podcast, but I won’t be alone!

I, Rob Scalfaro have  teamed up with my good friend and fellow internet entrepreneur Mr. Brant Looney on our very own podcast series.

We’ll be talking about our journey toward financial and personal freedom through internet based Passive Income. You may or may not think you know a lot about this topic, but I promise you’ve never heard it presented in the way we’re going to be doing it.

When we first considered doing a podcast on passive income we talked about all of the great material already available to everyone, and there is plenty. Then we talked about what we both found to be missing. We both listen to and read various information sources geared toward full-time blogging and development of intellectual property, we get so many great ideas out of them.

But what about people like us who have jobs and family commitments?

How do you find the time and energy to add this new and time consuming enterprise into your already busy life? That’s the “secret sauce” in our programming. We’ll be chronicling our journeys from relying upon “Active Income” (money we actively work for) to our rather lofty goals for massive “Passive Income” (Income we don’t directly work for).

Our hope is that you’ll not only listen to us regularly but that you’ll also participate and actually use the techniques we’ll be sharing on each and every episode. Beginning in early August, we’re scheduled to release a new podcast every two weeks through the end of 2013.

We’ll be posting updates and links to the podcast right here over the next few weeks. The easiest way to stay informed is to subscribe to this blog via the “Get Updates” button to the right of this post.

This will be a fun, lively podcast. Brant and I have a long history as friends and an (in)-famous reputation for rapid fire dialog. I know you’ll enjoy the ride.

This is some of the equipment we’ve chosen to use in our recording sessions:


We recorded the first episode on Monday July 15th. We’re really happy with how it turned out, and we’ll be recording the next episode next Monday.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Review


The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is the fifth installment in The Elder Scrolls action role-playing video game series.

While Skyrim was originally released in November of 2011, several add-ons have subsequently been released more recently. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Legendary Edition, a package including the latest patch and all three expansion packs.Elder Scrolls Skyrim

Our team is just now getting into playing it and has a few observations. They are playing the xBox version and are very happy with the graphics and controls. The characters and storyline are fun.

The strategy guide is about 300 pages in length and full of great information. We highly recommend it!

Over the next few days we’ll update this post with some game specifics

If you’re a fan of Skyrim, please share your thoughts with us. Come back again soon and read our finished product of this review.

Write a Book


I walked into the Library of Congress. I was visiting Washington DC with my kids and we went there.

Now if you’ve ever been there you know what I’m talking about when I say it was big. Really, Impressively Big! The fact is, it’s the largest library in the entire world. It houses over 35 million books and periodicals. I wondered what the first word on the oldest book there was?

But I’m not writing here about 35 million books, no, I’m here to write about one.

You see, I’ve had a dream and an ambition for many years now, one that has gone unfulfilled. It’s a dream that although I didn’t act upon, it never died. The truth is, it only grew into an undeniable need I now am filling.

The need I’m talking about is the need to be a published author. Not merely to write a book mind you. After all, how many people have written or nearly written their stories only to put them in the drawer and forget about them?
That’s not what I want, and that’s not what I’m going to do.

If any of what I just said sounds negative or difficult to achieve, consider what I’m about to tell you and I think you’ll get a fresh view of this subject. Now I know that I’m not alone in wanting to write a book, and to even earn a living from writing. I’ll bet there are people in this very room who share my desire. For them and for any of you who are just contemplating the thought of becoming an author, I have some very good news indeed.

While there are many things about modern life which make us long for the days of the past, there are also terrific new ways of doing things which we couldn’t have even imagined just a few short years ago. Becoming a published author is one pursuit which was previously considered a long-shot at best, but is now obtainable by just about anyone willing to learn the technology of today.

Book stores are closing all around us yet people are reading more than ever. How can that be? The digital revolution has changed everything and the old paradigms are gone forever. But on one small tablet, a person might have hundreds of books. The convenience is tremendous and the availability of new and classic books is no longer limited to book stores. If you can access the internet, you can get whatever book you wish for in a matter of minutes and for less money than in the past.

How then am I going to publish my book and make money from it?

The first step is the hardest one, write a book! But before you start writing, if you do a bit of research to know what subjects people are searching on-line for, you’ll have a great advantage before you even begin. You can research topics and keywords that are popular and write a book that you know, based upon verifiable data. This never could have happened ten years ago! Also, people today don’t want a 300 page volume, they want 60 pages priced at $4.99, easy!

The internet is full of resources you can utilize to turn your rough manuscript into a polished tome. For instance you can go to a site such as FIVERR.com or Elance.com to hire an editor or proofreader literally for 10 to 40 dollars. But you still need to put a little sizzle on the steak, right?

At these same sites you can hire a graphic designer to create a wonderful cover for your book at the same bargain rates. Think about it, a professional graphic designer creating your book cover in full color and in various file types for 10 or 20 dollars. It sounds crazy, but its true!

Your still not done yet by any measure. You’ve written your book on your computer, that’s very important, write it on the computer because it’s going to be what’s known as an EBOOK. You take your completed book and cover and convert it to the three most popular e-reader formats. These formats are epub, mobi and pdf. The customer will download the correct file type based upon whether they intend to read it on an iPad, Nook, Kindle or their PC.
Did I mention that the software used to convert the files is free? It is.

So let’s stop for a moment and see exactly where we are. We have a completed book. It has a stylish and attractive cover. It’s been converted into the most popular file types. But no one can buy it yet, can they? No they can’t. They can’t buy it because we haven’t uploaded it to an on-line store where it can be found, paid for and downloaded.

Where do you think we should go from here? We’re so close aren’t we?

Two websites immediately come to mind. One is a little site called Amazon.com and the other is something you may have heard of, it’s called iTunes. Now I need you to pay very close attention here, because it gets tricky. On either of these sites you register as an author (for free) and upload your book. Wait a few hours and you are now a published author with a potential audience in the billions! How great is that!

Now Amazon and iTunes aren’t the only places you’ll list your books. There are Goodreads, blogs, Ezines and countless other venues you can sell at.

Next we apply some good old fashioned social media marketing to get the word out and watch our sales figures from the amazon or iTunes dashboard. If sales are slow, we can adjust pricing, keywords and messaging in real time.

So I know that while not all of you have the dream of writing books, I hope that for those of you who do, I’ve inspired you to begin. think about what you know, write an outline and flesh it out. Set a date to get started and a goal for when you’ll be done.

And remember, it all starts with the first word.

If you are looking for a great way to start writing and possibly earn some money doing it, join InfoBarrel.com! It’s free and you can earn money when people read your articles!